Miss Fats is pretty sure there’s no such thing as a bad Indian dish (this is not to say that there are not poorly executed Indian dishes), but that makes it pretty hard to choose what you want when you go out for dinner. This is why she has been such a huge supporter of Indian buffet for years. Unfortunately, buffet usually equals lunch, and the best of Chicago’s Indian restaurants are way the fuck far away from Miss Fats: and as much as she’d like it, driving forty five minutes for a mid week lunch just doesn’t happen. However Miss Fats made the greatest discovery of all time last week: INDIAN DINNER BUFFET SEVEN DAYS A WEEK. Sher-a-Punjab is located on Devon, a stretch of West Rogers Park that is littered with Indian and Pakistani options. There’s so many options up there that Miss Fats has basically just been hopping about, trying one place after another. And everything has been good. Really fucking good. But Sher-a-Punjab’s dinner buffet has officially risen to the top of Miss Fats’ list.
Downside of Indian? Terrible food porn. Curry never looks that good in photo form. Therefore Miss Fats added laser cat to emphasize the tastiness, despite appearances.
M: So one of the greatest cuisines in the world has to be Indian. Miss Fats does not understand how so much flavor and crazy crazy spice is able to make it into every single freaking dish. Seriously, Indian Food? You make bland LENTILS taste that goddamn good WITHOUT meat fat? Sher-a-Punjab’s buffet contained a huge assortment of meat curries and veggie dishes along with yummy yummy sides like samosas, dosas and probably a couple of other “osa” items Miss Fats shoved on her plate. Her approach to these things is to always try everything. She just throws down a scoop of every option out there on the first round. She never has any idea what she’s eating but who cares when you have toasty chewy naan scoop of steaming Indian goodness in your mouth?
J: All Miss Fats knows is she wanted some palak paneer, and that definitely happened. Let Miss Fats take you on a journey through the magical rainbow of Indian dinnner:
ORANGE GOO WITH CHUNKS.
DIFFERENT COLORED RICE WITH COLORED CHUNKS.
BROWN GOO WITH CHICKPEAS.
OTHER BROWN GOO WITH GREEN CHUNKS.
DIFFERENT, LESS CHUNKY ORANGE GOO.
GREEN GOO WITH GREEN SQUISH.
SAMOSA (these actually weren’t that great, but then Miss Fats noticed one of the 700 waiters carrying a huge bowl of super hot fresh samosas over to the buffet so she shamelessly went back and got a new one. SHAMELESS, PEOPLE. MISS FATS EATS FOR YOUR SINS. Or something.
M: Miss Fats’ experience with Indian Buffet is that the naan can really be hit or miss (usually WHO CARES BECAUSE YOU GET AS MUCH AS YOU WANT). But Sher-a-punjab kindly brings you a heaping pile of FRESH, HOT naan to your table when you sit down. Chewy, bready, crispy bit naan heaven. Not to mention they were super good about making sure that naan stack was to our liking: they just wanted it to keep on coming.
J: Miss Fats probably should’ve signed a Naan-disclosure agreement about the egregious bread consumption that occurred, but what fun would that have been for y’all? It should be embarrassing, how much naan she ate… but you know Miss Fats. SHAMELESS.
M: Now this is really the spectacle of Sher-a-Punjab. Along with the fresh naan, you’re brought a sizzling platter of tandoori chicken to your table. Yep. You show up: they bring the meat platter. Miss Fats is really more of a curry person, but she is never going to turn down a sizzling platter of spiced meat. This tandoori chicken was pretty good (especially when dipped into her curry mess plate), but wasn’t her favorite dish of the night. She could take it or leave it. But since she doesn’t even need to make that choice, obviously she’ll take it.
J: Hey Sher-A-Punjab, Miss Fats just met you, and you are crazy, you brought a giant pile of hot bright red chicken… she’ll eat it… maybe. Dude, seriously, this was just SILLY. Miss Fats had a bite, cause it was there, but there’s just no sane reason for this much chicken to ever appear on your table while you are trying to p0wn the shit out of a buffet. DO NOT DISTRACT MISS FATS WHEN SHE IS ON A MASALA MISSION.
M: Oh second round. Yep, Miss Fats went back for more. Hey, you’ve got to pick your favorites once you’ve sampled the spread, people. Clearly she was into that brown one, that red meat one and some veggie and chickpea biznas. However this picture is deceptive and frankly exposes a HUGE mistake made on Miss Fats’ part. Perhaps she was just too hungry and her brain was off, but Miss Fats’ number one rule of Indian buffet? NO RICE. That’s right. Absolutely no rice. It just takes up belly space that could have been filled by more curry or naan. Let’s be real people: rice doesn’t really have any flavor and is just a vehicle for curry awesomeness. So skip that useless carb ride and just load up on star curries.
J: Agree to disagree. The logic here is sound, and this advice SHOULD be followed. But Miss Fats has a serious carb problem and there’s just no way she will ever be able to not put a big spoonful of rice on her plate if there is a big spoonful of rice to be had. And oh, there were big spoonfuls. And then there was big spoonful of rice pudding. Some people are addicted to drugs. Some people are addicted to gambling. Some people are addicted to reddit (which is understandable, because there is foodporn AND kittyporn there!). Miss Fats is addicted to CARBS.
M: Obviously Miss Fats was uncomfortably full after that curry attack. (She blames the critical rice mistake. Amateur move!) Like that was going to stop her from getting some rice pudding though. She topped off her bursting gullet with a little sweet creamy dessert action. She wishes she could really remember what it tasted like but at this point she thought she might die. Indian buffet win.
J: Alanis Morrissette said it: “Thank you India.”
Oh man, Miss Fats forgot to mention that after tax, you will pay a grand total of $11 for this meal, so put that on your plate and eat it!