Alright. Miss Fats is taking a very short breather from Asia treats to finish up her time in Seattle. She could have easily moved on with strange Malaysian meals, but looking back at her two weeks in the PNW, she couldn’t resist sharing some of the insanely indulgent foods that kicked off her seven week vacation. So take a look and make some notes for your next trip to the Northwest: there’s ample face-stuffing to be had.
1. Korean Tofu House: bulgogi hot pot, seafood hot pot, bbq bulgogi beef, assorted kimchi and taste goods. This was a new one for Miss Fats. Even though she spent years living just blocks from this popular Korean joint, she’d never experienced it in all its bubbling, spicy glory. Big mistake. She’s sad to say that this place was outrageously good and she essentially wasted her undergrad years fucking around (or blindly shoving as much pho in her mouth as possible. Not necessarily a bad thing.) Luckily she now knows where to get steaming hot, cheap and tasty Korean when she’s back in Seattle.
2. Oh hell yes. Miss Fats loves berry season. As much as the local foods movement can get ridiculously pretentious in Seattle, she seriously appreciates the fact that she can stop on by her local roadside stand and pick up a flat of plump, juicy berries, fresh-picked from a Washington farm. These blueberries were out. Of. Control. Eaten with every meal. Hell, eaten every time the fridge was open.
3. Miss Fats, despite vacation status, could not resist baking for two weeks. She had a little family BBQ to attend in celebration of a couple birthdays. Obviously this required cupcakes. Since apparently Miss Fat’s brother has no idea what carrot cake is (doesn’t it have chunks of carrots?) she served up a platter of simple red velvet and carrot cupcakes. That cream cheese frosting did double duty. She even shared a few of her precious berries to pretty them up a bit.
4. Il Corvo. Week two in Seattle marked Miss Fats’ attempts to see what new (or at least new to her) restaurants were popping up in her hometown. Top of her list: Il Corvo. Repeatedly topping Best New Restaurant lists, this Pioneer Square lunch spot promised $9 handmade pasta. You read right: nine. Fucking. Dollars. For handmade pasta. Naturally this comes with long lines and hidden menus (Il Corvo posts its pasta selection online when they open). Miss Fats and her friend J were first in line (10:45 am lunch. Aw yeah.) and blindly ordered one of each of their specials. Glancing up at their antipastas, Miss Fats’ eyes zeroed in on “spicy chickpea salad.” She was all over that. Added. Done. It was only after they sat down that Miss Fats investigated what they had ordered. She craned over the long line at the handwritten chalkboard. However due to her limited knowledge of pasta and Italian, this wasn’t the biggest help. Instead, they patiently waited for the kind man to bring out three steaming bowls of noodle goodness. Some investigation revealed a simple burst tomato sauce with garlic and basil (so damn fresh and bright. Cheers to tomato season), a squid ink pasta tossed a deep tomato and anchovy-based sauce, dotted with red pepper flake and sharp romano cheese, and finally a roasted pork ragu over thin ribbons of perfectly cooked pasta. Each of these deserve posts in themselves. Miss Fats favored the squid ink, which was the perfect salty, slightly fishy, spice she’s always dreamed of.
5. The weekend sent Miss Fats to Ocean Shores on the Washington Coast. She spent two days indulging in some serious middle aged vacation. On their bike ride into town, Miss Fats and her friend K happened upon this little farmers market where they picked up a bountiful crop of local peaches, zucchini, corn and peppers for dinner. Redic.
6. Apparently it was national s’mores day. This required K to spend an entire afternoon tending to fire, toasting up marshmallows for excessive s’more consumption. Miss Fats is sad to report, however, that K did not manage to reach her goal of twenty s’mores. Maybe next year.
7. And here comes the highlight of Miss Fats’ time in the PNW. Fresh crab. Right off the boat. Killed and cleaned right before her eyes. Every Saturday and Sunday, you can stop off at the docks in Ocean Shores and pick yourself up some live dungenous crab for a measly $11. Last summer, Miss Fats had missed out on this delight and had spent an entire 365 days regretting it. Now, K does not eat seafood, so she was not so into the idea of a crab dinner. Like that was going to stop her. Miss Fats rode her bike beach and picked up a two-pound sucker for herself.
8. The kind man in the rubber apron with giant muscles and a huge crab tattoo who killed and sold the beast to her instructed Miss Fats to boil the fresh crab corpse for eight minutes. Following his instructions produced the following shmorgosborg of shellfish goodness:
9. Yep. Miss Fats had all that to herself. However you may notice that dish of melted butter artfully sitting on the plate. Not needed. The crab was that sweet. No lemon. No butter. Just pure, flakey, meaty goodness. This was literally the best crab Miss Fats has had in her entire life and now she’s not sure she can live without dining on a two pound freshly caught and killed crab every night. #firstworldproblems
10. Aftermath. Mission accomplished.
11. Obviously Miss Fats final dinner in the U.S. for a month had to be Mexican. Thanks to good fortune, she also discovered that one of her closest friends would be in Seattle at the same time to reunite her favorite dining threesome. Miss Fats and friends, J & A, frequently ate Seattle during their college years, systematically stuffing themselves with all the sweet and savouries the city has to offer. This last dinner stateside was a rare opportunity for the three of them to come together and eat like it was their job. They ended up trying out Mezcaleria Oaxaca, a small plates, slightly upscale place in Queen Anne. For those of you who know the place or their other Ballard eatery, La Carta de Oaxaca, you’ll know they know what’s up with those crazy good Oaxacan flavors. In typical style, the three of them ordered a huge chunk of the menu, sampling their tacos, tamales, pozole, meats and fish galore. The hands down winner of the night was the tamale smothered in an incredible mole sauce. That plate was licked damn clean.
12. Portage Bay Café. For her final meal in the U.S., Miss Fats dined with Obachan and her dad at the Seattle brunch spot, Portage Bay Café. Now she stands by the fact that this place is vastly overrated and over priced, however Miss Fats wasn’t paying and she can admit they make a damn good pancake (though she upholds that their French toast is on the dry side). Here she indulged in a heaping last American plate of local huckleberry pancakes topped with a mountain of fresh fruit, maple syrup and whip cream, with a side of bacon. She also instructed her dad to order up the lemon blueberry French toast so she could nom on it as well. One last bread/pork buffet to remind her of the portion sizes she’d be missing for the next month.